Note: I invite everyone to let me know if you wish to “unsubscribe” from this missive. To each Dear On, you can opt out or in whenever you choose. No need for explanation. Just let me know. You will not hurt my feelings. I will know you are simply taking are of yourself!
Dear Ones,
Today is Wednesday… March 25th, 2020. Like no other Wednesday that we have experienced before…
Today in Menlo Park it is overcast, cool, still, so very quiet, with occasional visits by a few slender sunbeams filtering through the branches of the budding Japanese Maple trees.
Finding balance...
I am learning that it is helpful to be creating a kind of new-normal structure in each day…including NOT reading the latest news before getting out of bed, having a few minutes to be still and quiet, brewing a cup of coffee, sitting and taking in the beauty of the innocent spring day. I know news awaits about the world coping with CoVid 19. I know in future days the news will get more dire. I’ve discovered, for myself that beautiful music is as important as breathing. I’ve learned to turn music on and let it be my soothing companion. You may note I haven’t mentioned how important my daily exercise routine is..I’m hoping and praying endorphins are making a list to invite me to their party...
The deck and garden are so inviting, but it is still too cold to venture out and do serious gardening. The birds, however, find the current conditions superb…They love the fact that someone is attending to them, filling their numerous feeders (11) promptly and replenishing their favorite water playgrounds. The chubby robins, visiting for their short-two week visit, are delightful as they “swim laps" in the small bird bath by the kitchen window. The troops have announced far and wide that 🦜🎶🦜THIS BACK YARD 🦜🎶🦜 is a good place to hang out…goldfinches, chickadees, titmice, house finches, sparrows, a sweet family of woodpeckers, mourning doves, and, of course, hummingbirds and families of spunky grey and black squirrels who feel entitled to equal time and a share of the goodies. I am very pleased to have their cheerful company as they provide sweet entertainment and uncomplicated joy.
I have a small story about a precious chickadee that unexpectedly joined me in the house this week…we were both surprised to find one another in my office! I thought of everyone I knew whom I might call to deal with such an emergency, but you can imagine that list was short. I didn’t think 911 would appreciate hearing from me, so I took a few deep breaths and called on well, whatever is that is we call in in such moments. The chickadee and I worked it out…each coaxing, encouraging, reassuring each other…we built a certain trust and, together we invented a clever arrangement of lamps and and broomsticks and numerous dish towels, providing the path to the small opening in the window. And, eventually, rather miraculously, out he/she flew…such relief. Seemed lovely to be focused on one small little life and to help it along. Such a contrast to feeling helpless in light of our human family’s tragedy that engulfs our planet. An insight: As I hear from friends and family world-wide, sheltered at home with days of empty hours, a majority volunteer that “nothing or almost-nothing is getting done”. Almost to a person they report that they are in touch with dear ones, staying abreast of the news, occasionally watching a movie or taking a walk, cooking together, consoling one another. Most feel off-balance. They describe feeling numb, suspended in time. People mention a lethargy, an inability to focus on everyday practical things that need to be done. Like living in a dream. It occurs to me that this sounds very much like grief. And then, I think, but of course.
There is currently a tidal wave of losses occurring. Every age group has it’s own list of losses: Children, who’s long-practiced and long-awaited school plays and glee club productions have been cancelled, birthday parties and play-dates halted, sports put on hold, beloved soccer and baseball tournaments abandoned, bacalauraets, gradations, proms, end-of year-celebrations suspended. Millennials and Gen-x’s have postponed weddings and baby showers, celebrations and long-planned vacations. We older adults are now “a demographic” called “fragile", and we must abandon plans to be with our families, to travel abroad, to be with daughters at births, grieve with loved-ones at funerals, to attend birthdays and graduations of cherished grandchildren, asking ourselves “I wonder when I might see them again? The list goes on and on.
We are in the midst of ten thousand joys and ten thousand sorrows. It’s demanding work. It takes precedence over “getting things done”. For now, it is our priority: To pay attention, to bring compassion to ourselves as well as others, to sooth the unnamed grief that asks us to tend to first things first as our old world morphs into something we cannot yet imagine. Amazingly, we all know how go do this and, in fact, we are doing it. We’re calling it “I’m not getting anything done”, but that’s not true. Etty Hillesom writes, "Sometimes the most important thing we do in a day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.” These seem to be such days.
A final thought: Gratitude for friends and family. Gratitude for scientists and doctors and nurses who are working selflessly to guide us through the medical cataclysm. Gratitude for teachers and wise souls who comfort and remind us of our capacity to weather this crisis and grow into beautiful places we've never seen or known before. Gratitude for the Earth and the sunbeams filtering through the trees and the birds in our gardens. And the music. I encourage you to find YOUR music and play it. If you need a list of Pandora stations/artists, I’ll share mine, but be forewarned I lean heavily classical with cello and piano accents. Choral music also ranks high on the list.
Sending much love to you and to all those you love, and let’s continue to rest between our two deep breaths and hold one another tight over these coming days,
~S
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Sue Linville Shaffer, Ed.D, MFT
Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the earth. - Rumi
Chrissie Lam March 16 at 7:40 AM “And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently. And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal. And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.”
And Sue adds, Amen! May it be so.
And now, a shared Magical Evening from an earlier time (2015):
NEED TO ADD LINK
Click on the blue link below. (Or copy and past it into your browser if it does not automatically open up.)
This is a beautiful, uplifting rendition of Leonard Cohen’s song, Hallelujah, performed by Choir Choir Choir which travels world wide, puts out a spontaneous call for interested amateur singers (all strangers to one another) to gather, practice together for a couple hours, and then perform the song just once before dispersing and going home. This was a magical evening. 1500 singers came to the Luminato Festival at the Kern Generating Station in Toronto. Rufus Wainright joined them to sing lead. It was an EPIC NIGHT, an evening of shared good will, inspiration, and joy.
Recommendation: Make the picture large and turn the volume up high. I’m imagining that when we have survived this tragedy that has befallen us, that we might gather and sing together like this. Shall we make a promise to do so?
May each of you be well, be safe, and remember look for the small expressions of beauty hidden very deeply, very very deeply, in each unfolding day.
with love,
~S
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Sue Linville Shaffer, Ed.D, MFT
Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the earth. - Rumi
I’m thinking of sending along, every few days or when it feels right, a life-affirming post or thought that comes across my path that reveals the best of humanity shining through in the midst of this challenging time. Today, a sweet image from AA Milne and a short article/video from today’s NY Times.
Please let me know if you prefer not to be included in this mailing…I know we’re all near overwhelm, but for some good news is helpful/welcome! For others, plates are full, and less is more. All perspectives honored, just let me know. (Note: Trying out Blog by popular demand.)
Hoping today finds each of you well and that you stay well, holding tight to those most dear as well as sending every measure of love to each of our brothers and sisters, known and unknown, who share our beautiful, fragile planet. Looking forward to staying in touch,
With love to all, Sue
p.s. Be sure to stay in touch as well as pass along any uplifting or news/images that you care to share. And I dare to say laughter at this time is good!
If you click on this blue link you can HEAR the music, which is sweet!
Two siblings held a porch concert for a neighbor who is self-isolating
(CNN)—The coronavirus pandemic has bought out the worst in some people: Those who refuse to participate in social distancing or travel although they are at risk of transmission.
But two children in Columbus, Ohio, show that difficult times also can bring out the best in people, too after they held an impromptu concert on their self-isolating neighbor's front porch.
When Taran Tien, 9, and his sister, Calliope, 6, heard that their neighbor Helena Schlam was self-isolating to protect herself from the coronavirus, they wanted to do something special for her.
Schlam a 78-year-old lover of classical music, insisted she did not need groceries. So, the Tien family found a different way to help.
On Monday, the two siblings, wearing a suit and a dress, took their cellos and headed to their neighbor's porch where they held a classical concert just for Schlam.
"I loved watching how delighted they all were," Rebecca Tien, the children's mother, told CNN.
"It was one of those moments where you feel like you're a part of something incredible," she said. "It was also a good way to remember the value of connection, especially at a time like this when everyone feels disconnected. Just to know we were a part of something so sweet, even just for a minute, meant a lot."
In a video posted by fellow neighbor Jackie Borchardton Twitter, the children can be seen playing music for Schlam while she maintained a safe distance away from them.
Taran and Calliope Tien playing the cello for Helena Schlam.
For 30 minutes, they played music ranging from a Bach minuet to "Go Tell Aunt Rhody" for Schlam, who hadn't left her home in five days.
"It was so delightful," Schlam told theColumbus Dispatch. "It was a little cold, but I just put on an extra coat. The kids are really quite talented, and it was so much fun."
As the world is enveloped in the chaos of an unanticipated health crisis, these children are a reminder that there is still so much good left for us to give.
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Sue Linville Shaffer, Ed.D, MFT
Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the earth. - Rumi
